Ah, 21 Jump Street. Remember when that was just one perfect movie that showed the world that Channing Tatum’s comedic timing was on point? Then, 21 Jump Street was given a sequel called 22 Jump Street, a meta comedy that poked fun at itself and at sequels in general. It even ended with a closing montage of scenes from an infinite amount of 21 Jump Street sequels, counting, of course, upward from 21. It was all fun and games until it was announced that 23 Jump Street is coming to theaters soon enough. If you were worried about, or hoping, that that would happen to Magic Mike, prepare to be disappointed. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Tatum denied Magic Mike 3 would ever happen “unless I go bankrupt or something and then make a third one on my iPhone”. Sadly, I think by the time the actor goes bankrupt, he might be way past his prime on the whole male stripping thing.
“NOOOOOOOOO,” some of you might be screaming to the unforgiving sky. “WHERE WILL I GET MY MALE STRIPPER FIX NOW?! FIRST YOU TAKE MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY OUT OF MAGIC MIKE XXL AND NOW THIS?!” However, I think we should all calm down for a moment and think about the pros and cons here. The reason Tatum is denying the need for a Magic Mike 3 is because Magic Mike XXL is going to be the stripper movie to end all stripper movies. It’s going to be so big, so bad, so strip-y that we will walk out of that film never needing to see half-naked men gyrating at us again. It’s going to be everything the first movie wasn’t. It’s going to be the first movie on steroids.
In light of that, why do we need a Magic Mike 3? I’m actually rather proud that Tatum knows how to end a franchise on a high note, because, I’m sorry, but male strippers are not enough for me to shell out the money to see a bad movie. And I feel like a bad movie is the natural end result of trying to force more plots complex enough to fill a two hour period out of the boys from Magic Mike. I would have just called it quits after McConaughey dropped out, to be honest, but I admire the work they’re doing with Magic Mike XXL. In more ways than one.
So when Tatum tells you that there won’t be a third Magic Mike movie, don’t be sad. Don’t scream toward the heavens. Don’t curl into a ball and cry at what will never be. Instead, that’s all the more reason to get excited for XXL, which promises to be a movie so great that we won’t even need a sequel to that sequel. Whether or not it can live up to these high expectations still remains to be seen, but if it doesn’t then we know how to force their hand when it comes to another film: bankrupt Channing Tatum as soon as possible.